It has recently come to our attention, that we have a serious dysfunction within us that we have been battling for the past year. We noticed the symptoms which appeared to be serious and much stronger, while on-line visiting other writers blogs. Before long, the minor side effects were becoming more pronounced with every post and guest spots along with backgrounds, comments and visitor friendly trends.

But it took a real spiral downward, when I noticed we were battling each other by arguing over other blogs. Once we were finally able to confront ourselves about this weakness and admit to it, we decided it was time to take the first step towards recovery. But by this time, the cold sweats and covetous behavior had reached an all time high. So together, we searched for a professional who would be able to help us with this sickness.

Now that we are receiving treatment and have a real name to go with this crippling disability, we now know that it is as common as panic attacks and hoarding. We suffer from Blog Envy. Now for some of you, this will seem trivial and pathetic. Like we seek attention or pity. But you couldn’t be more wrong. And for those of you who can relate to this horrific disorder, you will know exactly how hard this can be to live with.

Our therapist advised my daughter and I to join a support group of writers who suffer from the same problem that we do. You know, the sort of hands on therapy (listening to other peoples problems and yours goes away approach.) So we took his advice to heart and began the healing process. Finding a rather diverse group of perfectly normal people living in the shadow of this shameful phobia. It was hard at first, as most of the twenty or so members spent their first ten minutes of testimonials, trying to get us to look at their blogs and then follow. But soon, we all began purging and before long, we had achieved some real progress.

We were shocked to find out how prevalent this sickness is and how it has managed to cross all social classes and age barriers. At our first group we heard from a woman who said she had been working for two months to make her blog more user-friendly. But at last check, she had yet to achieve that, and was closer to breaking into NASA’s computer system.

The next speaker claimed that she had been working on her blog to make it look as nice as some of her fellow writers, only to find herself angry, confused and cursing her laptop. She was advised by (Doc) to turn her blog creation over to her eleven year old, at which point out of desperation, she did and her result was one of success. She shared with us that she had, or that is her daughter had made her blog beautiful. And how she had more comments by visitors on how pleasant and informative her blog was. She seemed at peace now.

So what have we learned, other than children have the key to technology as well as the best blogs. Not much. My daughter and I still have panic attacks while visiting other blogs and find ourselves wanting to throw the computer when we leave their sweet sites with their guest posts and recommendations.

I would love to tell you that there is a cure for this dysfunction. But we have been told by medical professionals that it is something that must be worked out through time and learning to love your blog as it is.

So, we go onto our blog three times a day and say to it, “Your beautiful, your informative, and your fine without guest posts! It’s okay that you have no comments, soon you will. We love you!”

Oh what the hell are we saying! It’s an ugly boring blog!

If you know someone who suffers from blog envy, please tell them to join Inion N. Mathair at their support group for writers with fears of ugly blogs, and remember there’s hope for everyone.

Advertisements